All posts by Neil

Popbitch – 11.07.13 Issue 650

(It wasn’t me!)

Doorknob

The Phantom Penis Penner strikes!

From the dreariness of the show, you wouldn’t know that anyone on The Voice had a personality – but one of the contestants obviously did. He used his time on the show to secretly draw cock and balls all over the set. Signs, graphics, walls – everything got a large dick etched on it.

The producers went nuts – ordered the set to be completely cleaned. Time passed, new graphics and signs were made and the team were quietly pleased when the Phantom Penis Penner was eliminated. Until one day, towards the end of the show, they went for a meeting in a quiet room at the back of the studio, closed the door… and saw a huge penis drawn all over it.

From Popbitch

Thought for the Day

That is why no amount of cajolery, and no attempts at ethical or social seduction, can eradicate from my heart a deep burning hatred for the Tory Party that inflicted those bitter experiences on me. So far as I am concerned they are lower than vermin.

They condemned millions of first-class people to semi-starvation. Now the Tories are pouring out money in propaganda of all sorts and are hoping by this organised sustained mass suggestion to eradicate from our minds all memory of what we went through. But, I warn you young men and women, do not listen to what they are saying now. Do not listen to the seductions of Lord Woolton. He is a very good salesman.

If you are selling shoddy stuff you have to be a good salesman. But I warn you they have not changed, or if they have they are slightly worse than they were.

Aneurin Bevan, 3 July 1948

Tweetbot and that f*cking iCloud sync

I’ve been a user of the Tweetbot Twitter client on my iPhone for quite some time and quite frankly I still rate it as one of the best available. In my tweeting lifetime I’ve used Echofon, Osfoora and even Twitter’s official once wonderful now wretched abomination.

But I digress, Tweetbot supports syncing of timelines and direct messages over iCloud meaning that whichever device you pick up to tweet it should remember where you last left off. Not a feature that was of any particular interest to me when I only used Tweetbot on my phone but since I’ve acquired an iPad it is a feature that has been of great interest to me, not to mention a massive source of frustration.

Apparently “it just works”. Unless it doesn’t, in which case… errm it doesn’t. I know this because I’ve Googled my fingertips flat trying to find out what stops it working and discovering that nobody seems to really know. However, if you’re a fellow sufferer, before you proceed I’d advise following this excellent troubleshooting guide from the Tapbots blog.

Anyhow, finally, it’s working (and bloody useful it is too) so here is – to the best of my recollection – the sequence of events that I carried out in my attempt to sort it out once and for all.


  1. Delete Tweetbot from both iPhone and iPad (and anywhere else you have it installed).
  2. Delete your Twitter account(s) from iOS
  3. Hard reset your iOS devices by pressing and holding down the sleep/wake button and the Home buttons at the same time until the device shuts off and the apple logo reappears as it reboots.
  4. Now log onto the twitter website through a browser and go to your account settings. In your Applications, revoke access to Tweetbot for iOS. You may need to do this for all accounts you use with Tweetbot.
  5. Re-add your Twttter account(s) to iOS on all of your devices.
  6. Reinstall Tweetbot on your devices and run the initial setup which should also reauthorise access to twitter.
  7. Setup your Tweetbot notification preferences on all devices (I got an authorisation error on one device until I completed this step)
  8. Finally, visit Account Settings in Tweetbot and ensure that iCloud is the selected Sync Service (it should be by default). You can also switch on the Visual Marker from this screen. It’s down to personal taste but I found it useful to indicate things were working. You can always switch it off again once you’re happy all is well.

If working you should now find that if you have both clients open at once and actively use one the other will update and update a few seconds later.

Whether streaming was set on or off made no difference.

Also, now it is working I can confirm that no Tweetbot data is visible in your Settings » iCloud » Storage & Backup » Manage Storage section.

There’s a lot wrong with this approach. It’s a proper blunderbuss technique, it involves the dreaded hard reset which I am not a fan of, there is no way of knowing which step actually solved my problem and there’s no guarantees it’ll work for you. The whole method is a product of frustration and a lack of time to invest into a more detailed and methodical investigation.

How very scientific.

From the Desk of Lapointe Carman on behalf of President Good-luck Jonathan

From the Desk of Lapointe Carman
Chairman, Contract Verification/Review Panel and Foreign Debt Payment

Dear Beneficiary,

The Federal Government of Nigeria has been seriously warned by the United States Government, International Monetary Fund (IMF), World Bank, United Nations (UN) and other international bodies to make sure we settle most of our outstanding foreign debts we owed to Next of Kin’s.

Fund Beneficiaries and foreign contractors that executed contract with us In light of this, this present administration under the auspices of the new Civilian Head of State (President Good-luck Jonathan)the President and Commander in Chief of Armed Forces Federal Republic of Nigeria within Five days on assumption of office set up this panel to review, verify and to settle all outstanding legitimate foreign debts the Federal Government of Nigeria owed to next of kin’s and foreign contractors that executed contract with the Federal Government of Nigeria for the past five years.

A very surprising record was discovered in your payment file that is why you have not been contacted about this since then. Records showed that your inheritance payment has been approved four times and duly completed two times.

Also we found out that these funds totaling (Two Million United States Dollars) was transferred directly from the central bank of Nigeria to the below stated bank account on your authorization. This has now resulted in bringing the USA ,British and Australian Government into the case and we really want you to explain to us what you know about this transfer/payment.

BANK NAME: STANDARD CHATTERED BANK
BANK ADDRESS: 138-141 1ST FLOOR, EDINBURGH TOWER, THE LANDMARK, 15 QUEENS ROAD, CENTRAL HONG KONG
ACCOUNT NAME: INDO-CHINA GROUP LTD
A/C #: USD114-102-5567-8
SWIFT CODE: SCBL 11K111

IF WE DO NOT HEAR FROM YOU IMMEDIATELY YOU RECEIVE THIS MESSAGE TODAY, WE WILL ASSUME YOU ARE INVOLVED AND HAVE RECEIVED OVER PAYMENT, WHICH ONE SHOULD BE RETURNED TO NIGERIA

Help us to help you, If not call me immediately you receive this message today on my direct number or send me a details email disclaiming the information so that you will be issued with claim identification code (CIC) which will help you to secure your claim and payment from fraudulent officials.

And also you will be advised and guided accordingly on how you will receive your legitimate fund entitlement from the Nigerian Government, which will be credited into your nominated bank account within 24hours from when you present the Change of Ownership certificate fee valued at 20$ to enable us get you your legal empowerment and release your funds since there is no cost to transfer funds . Be informed your FUNDS is also program in an ATM Card and ready to be delivered soon as Change of Ownership Cert is procured only.

  1. Your Full Name:
  2. Your Direct Telephone
  3. Fax Number N/A
  4. Your Residential Address:

Thanks for your anticipated cooperation,
Yours’ truly.

Call +234 81 66 382 645
Lapointe Carman

(The Chairman of Contract Verification/Review Panel and Foreign Debt Payment)

Seems Legit

My Dear Friend,

As you read this, I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, because, I Believe Everyone will die someday. My name is Mr. Richard Andre I have been diagnosed with O esophageal cancer.I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul so, I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in the Oman, Algeria and Malaysia. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore.

I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money which I have there to charity organization in Bulgaria and Pakistan, they refused and kept the money to themselves.Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them. The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of thirteen million united state dollars $13,000,000 that I have in England from a contract i did with for amex.

I dont know how much time i have got to live and i would like to entrust my dying wish to you so you can help me make them true and to make things fair you can control 30% of the funds which should be ok for you and the rest for my last wish .