From the annals of the Profanisaurus

big mac
1. n. A disappointing hamburger, consisting of two tired, grey pieces of meat, random, sorry-looking vegetation and traces of unidentified mayonnaise-like liquid.

2. n. A high street fast food that looks and tastes like 1.

3. n. A carefully chosen, artfully lit and meticulously composed photograph of the sort used by a rough female on a social networking site to ensure that her image is as misleadingly attractive to the eye as possible. Named after the laughably-unrealistic burger photographs displayed above the counters of certain litigious fast food restaurants, that bear scant resemblance to the dishevelled objects their customers find in the box after purchase.

From the Viz Profanisaurus: Das Krapital app for iPhone

I exist to serve and ensure your IT has everything you need for a productive day’s work

Annotate,   Print
Subject Request for Administrator Pass… Group
Status Closed Technician Neil
Created 20/10 14:50 Customer Productive Drone (p.drone@email.com)
Closed 10:19 Access key [Removed]
Productive Drone
[xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx]
20/10 14:50
Location: [Removed]
Phone: [Removed]Hi,
I would like to have the administrator password of my computer, I want to install some software, during any instalation it asks for administrator password.
I am looking forward to hear from you.
Best Regards,
Productive Drone
Neil Couper
[xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx]
10:15
Hi

Please can you supply more information about the software you want to install and we can then decide on the best way to proceed.

Thanks

Productive Drone
[xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx]
10:19
Hi,
Many thanks for your response, I have fixed my problem, I was going to install itune software, but someone in our department helped me.
thanks you again,
regards,
Productive Drone

Now… he thinks the matter is closed when in fact I now have to go and track down the mysterious Good Samaritan who is helping to install any old arse software software willy nilly on department kit. Then hurt them.